New Beliefs Become New Ways of Being
Coaching: a thought & accountability partnership, shaped by trust, informed by awareness, expanding the field of possibility.
My Coaching Philosophy
Moments of Truth
At home and work, life extends us endless opportunities to show who we are in the pursuit of meeting our needs.
Don't take my word for it. Think about your own day. How many of your hundreds of decisions today are made for no reason at all? I suggest it's very close to zero.
I believe everything we do is tied to meeting our innate safety, belonging, and worthiness needs. Abraham Maslow was on to something when, in 1943, he published his theory on human motivation.
Humans excel at working to meet our needs.
The main hiccup is the distortion in the method we choose because what we're not as great at is identifying what's truly calling for our attention beneath the need—our delivery method is flawed.
In other words, how we try to meet our needs can be ineffective/inefficient.
When we're called out for being too much, or not enough, which, let's face it, happens all the time in our social conditioning, we develop adaptations to survive and thrive in our home, social, and work systems.
For example, if we are praised for say, bringing home A+ grades in our formative years, we may perceive this messaging in a way where we impart meaning between performance/intelligence/achievement and our value.
It can work in the opposite way too. If we are singled out or shamed for unfavourable comparisons to the grades of our peers, we can impart similar meaning with our value, in a disempowering direction.
Our needs for belonging and worthiness are natural, innate, and healthy.
The hiccup is that through learned adaptations of resistance, judgement, and attachment—developed to protect and promote our needs, when we perceive a threat to our value, say, our performance/intelligence/achievement is being challenged, we will likely respond to a moment of truth through one of these conditioned patterns.
How we go about meeting our needs can also become barriers to them.
When this happens, instead of dropping in to discern what is happening somatically—to discern what feels real from what's true, we will often double down on the maladaptive, patterned behaviour because it's familiar.
Particularly in difficult moments fraught with stress, overwhelm, and pressure, we will almost certainly revert to behaviour that is familiar and comfortable, given that we are neurologically wired for comfort.
Each moment of truth contains an invitation to choose our way of being. We can choose to move forward in alignment with what we care about, or we can reinforce historical, conditioned patterns.
After all, we are an anthology of our experiences, built from our choices and outcomes. Each is stored within our biology. Our embodied wisdom lies deep within our tissue. These patterns shape who we are. Our somatic intelligence informs how we catalogue each new moment.
My coach approach integrates your embodied intelligence with objective, conscious awareness, empowering you to design new shapes that align with your core values, and embody new practices that more effectively meet each moment of truth with authenticity.
It's hard to human. A thought and accountability partnership can help simplify it.