Top 3 EQ Questions for 2021
“Maybe this year…we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives not looking for flaws, but for potential.” – Ellen Goodman
After all, whatever we look for is what we will see.
This is how our worldview gives meaning to perception.
Emotions work like this too.
We think it's the moment in front of us that creates either positive or negative feelings, when really, emotions are no more than a pulse of energy alerting us to a change in our environment.
How we perceive the moment, in other words, how we feel about it, is a choice we make, unconsciously or otherwise.
And once we've made our choice, our words and behaviours flow accordingly.
How we respond to the moment affects ourselves & everyone around us.
This is true whether we are at work, or at home.
It's precisely why EQ is suggested to be directly responsible for 27-45% of workplace success, while between 1-20% (the average being 6%) of success in the workplace is attributed to IQ.
Expressing emotions in a socially responsible manner that invites empathy empowers & engages people.
Want to know your EQ strengths & opportunities for 2021?
Book an EQ-i2.0® assessment; globally recognized as the world's leading scientifically valid & reliable measure of emotional intelligence.
It's that simple.
Mastering EQ Core Competencies: Optimal, Long-Term Decisions
When life asks us to meet uncomfortable moments requiring sacrifice, uncertainty, anxiety & even grief, it's tempting to delay or deny the experience if possible.
Disregarding, freaking out, dissent, withdrawal, & resistance represent popular choices.
Authenticating the situation with substantive, verifiable, objective evidence, while naming & understanding the underlying reasons why we are feeling the emotions we are sensing, is also a choice.
Only one of these choices is likely to result in a long-term decision leading to an optimal outcome.
We can apply any serious life situation, such as an unfavourable diagnosis, a job loss, or even pandemic behaviour protocols to this model of EQ competencies.
Think about the people in your life.
I'm suggesting that those who demonstrate a consistent ability to rise above situations involving disappointment, fear, pain & suffering all have in common that they seek the truth as fervently as they seek to understand themselves.
This is not coincidence. It's neuroscience.
It's what emotional intelligence is rooted in.
When we choose to master the emotions that influence our every thought & behaviour, we are far better positioned to make decisions that help us and our loved ones thrive & flourish.
It's that simple.
Emotional Intelligence: enriching & empowering lives
We begin life as perfect, whole beings.
We have no story, nor any attachment to perceptions of us.
Soon, we are assigned our first external labels, our names, providing meaning to the concepts of ‘me & I’. Thereafter, each comparison, statement & judgment about us sticks to this sense of self.
It doesn't take long for us to feel inadequate.
We perceive, even at a young age, the difference between socially valued qualities & who we have been told we are. So we hide the parts of ourselves that we believe to be the root causes of losing belonging & acceptance.
Life basically comes down to two choices:
We can lean into the discomfort of the separation of who we have been told we are, from our true self; in order to heal this divide & make peace with the whole of who we are;
...or we can continue along with our illusion, embracing & curating new stories about us; that assuage our fears of unworthiness, and require constant validation to feed our insatiable longing for self-worth.
Emotional intelligence is the gateway to lean into the truth of our feelings, to do the inner work to reveal their source. This is how we unleash the transformative power of complete self-awareness and self-acceptance to live a life we love.
The choice is yours. It’s that simple.
How to Become an Emotion Superhero
Managing our emotions during a time of uncertainty, whether during a pandemic or for everyday life, and using them to effectively inform our next steps in a measured, composed manner demands the emotion superpowers and self-awareness of an Emotion Superhero.
And the truth is…every one of us can become an Emotion Superhero!
Emotion superpowers demonstrate our ability to: sense emotions & use precise language to name them, see how self-defeating, silent self-talk informs our worldview, & how this usually has nothing to do with what we are facing in the moment.
We develop emotion superpowers and self-awareness by building emotional intelligence skills.
I work with the EQ-i2.0® assessment instrument, recognized globally as the leading EI model in scientific research-based validity and reliability, because its 15 skills across 5 competency areas work together to improve our performance, emotional & social functioning, and wellbeing.
We start where we are. It’s that simple.
Shame: The 'S' Word
Dr. Abraham Maslow proposed his hierarchy of needs theory in 1943.
It would not be until 1990 when Dr. Paul MacLean's triune brain model theorized that each area of the brain (brain stem, limbic system, prefrontal lobes), works together.
Maslow’s theory integrating our empathic & analytical brain systems was ingenious.
His theory is that after meeting our needs to be alive (physiological) and stay alive (safety & security), our next most profound human needs are for belonging & acceptance.
Ascending this level can take years, or even decades.
We do this by getting real about shame: the ‘S’ word - a visceral word; with equally intense feelings ascribed to the emotion.
We fear that uncovering old, buried emotions will cause pain, when really, it's the effort & outcomes from suppressing & resisting them that hurts us more in the long run.
The secret to life is being comfortable with discomfort; perceived & actual.
Discomfort is our main barrier to self-acceptance, self-awareness, love, belonging, authenticity, growth, & joy.
Everything we’ve ever wanted resides just beneath it.
And I know for sure that we can overcome it better than we think.
It’s that simple.
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